The Warsaw High School Times

It is the 14th of February, and almost as soon as you wake up you can already expect to see red roses, assorted chocolates in heart-shaped boxes and balloons everywhere you look. Valentine’s Day is here – the day we celebrate our love and our own romantic relationships. It seems somewhat obvious that focusing on your partner and getting romantic is good for your relationship. But are there people for whom this is not the case?

The extent to which you experience attachment avoidance decides whether or not Valentine’s Day makes you feel better about your relationship. Attachment avoidance is the tendency to avoid intimacy and to feel uncomfortable getting close to other people. People high in this tendency may experience the pressure of the event negatively, which could affect their relationships.

While Valentine’s Day activities may spark romance, they may be taken as obligatory and therefore insincere, and lose their power as a way of expressing love – especially for people who already have a reason to doubt their partner’s affection. Moreover, since the holiday is extremely popular and public, we see other people celebrating and might get the false impression that others are more in love than they really are, and more than we are. All these factors might cause arguments, make us feel depressed, and eventually speed up a couple’s breakup.

Popular worldwide, the cultural pressure to celebrate and impress your partner on Valentine’s Day is evident. The event promotes the message that you should have a mate (or at least a date), buy them an expensive gift, and show them your love and affection throughout the whole day. Not only does the holiday put extreme pressure on people to meet its standards, but it can also eventually cause the fall of people’s self-esteem. 

According to 2022 data from Business Insider, as many as 41 percent of Poles are ready to spend from 100 to 300 zł on Valentine’s Day, with flowers, chocolates, and cosmetics being the most popular choices. In addition to expensive gifts, we are also encouraged to express superficial messages about love to our partners. The phrases you see at the display of Valentine’s Day cards in your local store such as ‘you’re my one and only love, forever’, ‘you’re my everything’, and ‘my heart belongs to you’ show the unrealistic versions of romance promoted on this holiday. 

Needless to say, most of us love hearing these sweet messages – they make us feel special, loved, and wanted. But should they? These sentences do not show what a person can honestly feel and want to say. You cannot predict the future, so promises like ‘you’re my one and only love, forever’ are ostensible. 

To honestly and wholeheartedly express your love to your partner on Valentine’s Day, do not throw unpredictable and superficial promises that you can’t for sure keep – instead think about what your feelings towards your mate are and how you’d like to communicate them. Focus on how they make you feel and try to find the best words that demonstrate your emotions. 

The truth about Valentine’s Day is that it promotes superficial and false messages about romantic love. It puts pressure on many people, to seem perfect and make your partner promises which you can’t for sure keep. It is normal to feel sadness, jealousy, and emptiness due to not having a partner. Do not let the ostensible message of the event get to you – over 7 million Poles are single!  Remember that you can also celebrate this sweet holiday with your friends and/or family.